On ghosting in a work context
I should preface what I’m about to say by acknowledging that some people are terrible and that emotional labour can be exhausting. So I’m not talking here about interacting with people on social networks about work-related stuff; in that case, you should block with abandon.
I’m also not talking about ghosting during the hiring process. I think that sucks as well, but it’s not unusual to fail to hear back if you’ve been unsuccessful in applying for a position.
What I have noticed over the last decade is the creeping acceptance that it’s OK to just not reply to people as part of professional conversations. Especially by email. To leave conversations in the middle without others knowing you’ve left, and to not give reasons for deciding on one course of action rather than another.
I’ve thought this for a while, but haven’t written about it, because there’s always that creeping suspicion: “what if it’s just me?” But I don’t think it is just me. I’ve heard others complain about it, too.
It would be easy to ascribe this to a single cause — that it’s a generational thing, that people are overwhelmed, or that it’s due to post-pandemic malaise. Maybe. I have to keep reminding myself that you can’t control other people’s thoughts and behaviours, but I do think you can encourage pro-social behaviours.
So this is me, to some extent spitting in the wind, exhorting people to just hit reply. Even if you haven’t got the spoons to deal with the request right now, you can talk about being busy, say you’ll get back to them in a couple of weeks, and then just add it to your to-do list. In fact, a post I published earlier this week came from me doing exactly that.
Image by jean wimmerlin